Sunday, February 28, 2010

Sick Day

I have worked at the same place for over a year and today was my second time calling in (even though the first time was just a few weeks ago).  As I said last time I posted, I got a horrible sore throat on Friday went to the doctor and started antibiotics.  Yesterday I was miserable at work and my ears were so plugged up I couldn't hear anything which is very counterproductive for the kind of work I do SO last night I called in for today.  I took some night time cold meds and slept from 9pm-8:45am even though I was up ever few hours with a parched mouth because my nose is stopped up!  Ugh.  Today I feel just as bad even though I've been on the antibiotics for 36 hours but I think it's finally moving out of my head and into my chest.  At least that way I can hear and breathe out of my nose again.  I really think that is the most uncomfortable feeling in the world.  Not only can I not breathe, I have horrible chapped lips from breathing out of my mouth!

Enough complaining.  I just ordered some pr.eseed!!!  I am really excited and hoping it is one step closer to that BFP!  I did the free shipping option because there's no hope of getting pregnant really on cd39 and beyond but at least I will have it for next cycle. I can't decide if  I should try to call Dr P's office this week to get in for my cl.omid or if I need to wait another week.  I guess there's no harm in calling and getting told I need to wait rather than waiting and not needing to, right?  Also, do you think I should asked for it to be a monitored cycle or just wait and see if it works?  From what I understand, my insurance covers it all so hopefully he'll go ahead and monitor it so we don't waste time if it isn't working....

Friday, February 26, 2010

Ouch!

Today I had my first horrible trying to conceive comment.  So, as I have mentioned before I am a police/fire/ems/911 dispatcher.  We are a semi-rural county with a LOT of livestock that gets loose all of the time.  Today we were dealing with a donkey and the deputy called in on the phone to give me some more information on it... I asked the difference between a donkey and a mule and then I asked which one is sterile and a lady I work with is listening and says  "OH, I KNOW- IT'S SAMANTHA!" and then laughs for a good few minutes. WTF?! I really almost climbed over the desk and punched her in the face.  That was my initial reaction, the next was to bawl my eyes out but luckily I managed to keep my words to myself and got out of it with just some really watery eyes.  But seriously, how can you call ANYONE sterile and it be funny- fertility problems or not!

Second below the belt comment today.  I went to the doctor because I had a horrible sore throat and my ears were killing me.  The nurse takes my blood pressure and weight, asks if I'm still on the or.tho tri.cyclen and I answer no, that we're trying but aren't pregnant yet.  She then asks when my last period was and I told her January 21st and she says "and you're not pregnant?!!".  I know it's not THAT bad (well this wasn't I still think the first comment was unforgiveable!) but it really got to me after I'm feeling crummy anyway, have been called sterile, and just want to have a baby!  GEEZ!!!  Oh and the rapid strep came back negative but the dr still thinks that's what it is so 20 big ol pink pills for me!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Week one of dieting-

I lost 4 pounds! Wahoo! It's a great start and if I can throw some exercise in there and start drinking more water and eat fewer carbs (I read that really helps PCOSers lose weight) then hopefully I can keep it up! I know on WW it says to expect 2 lbs a week but if I can get down 15 rather than just 10 before I go back to see Dr P I will be super proud of myself!  I will be proud if it is any weight but 10-15 will be amazing!

I just got back from the hospital seeing Baby A and he is super sweet! Him and Momma are both doing great and they get to come home in the morning! I am so happy for them and I am ready for it to be my turn!

Oh and today is CD34 and no signs of anything... I'm not even taking hpt's anymore. I'm just ready to get going on the cl.omid!  I'm also going to ask him about my increasing ovary pain and see if it is anything significant.  I can almost guarentee you though that he is going to say to come back for an ultrasound.  Maybe I can just tell them to schedule me for one for this next visit- I doubt they'd listen though...

Monday, February 22, 2010

Today I watched a new life come into this world

..and it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen!  I am so blessed that they had me in the room to share this with them!  She got ce.rvidil last night and when they removed it this morning she was at a 3 and they began the pi.tocin and broke her water so I left work and that was at 10.  When I got to the hospital she was hurting and got her epidural around noon and she was at a 4.  The nurse checked her at about 1:30 and she was at 6 and then the Dr came in and checked her at at 2:20 and she was dilated to 7 so he left and went back to the office.  Twenty minutes later she began to feel a lot of pressure and felt sick and sure enough she was fully dilated!  The nurses called the doctor and got everything set up and had her push during 3 contractions and he was already crowing- HOW AMAZING!  The dr came in and she pushed 3 times during 1 contraction and her little man made his enterance at 3:30pm!   I am still in disbelief that I was there for all of it but couldn't be happier!!!




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Sunday, February 21, 2010

One year ago today we said I do...

Here are some pictures from the best day of my life! (so far the best)

My Bridal Party
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The Chapel
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First Married Kiss!
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Saturday, February 20, 2010

Are you really yelling at me?

A post NOT about ttc...


So at my work (police/fire/ems/911 dispatch) I am the youngest by 12 years but evidently I am not the most immature. The way everything is set up is that we have our direct supervisor, Sgt, and then three under her Cpl#1, Cpl#2, and Cpl#3. Anyway Cpl#2 is a complete joke. She is VERY slow at her job and is always late. The way it is written in our policy is that you are to be at the console ready to work at the designated start of your shift. She will walk in the door (fast food in hand) straight up on the hour or up to 5 minutes after. I understand that doesn't seem to be that big of a deal but #1 she's a "supervisor" and #2 by the time I can get signed off and she can get signed in I'm not getting out the door until 10 or 15 after and that isn't enough time to claim on my time sheet-BUT when it happens every week that time quickly adds up. SO, I had talked to the Sgt about it before and nothing was done about it so last week I emailed the Sgt and also cc'd the next step supervisor, Lt, about it. Sgt calls Cpl#2 into the office to talk to her about it and I guess showed her the email where it shows I also sent it to the Lt. Normally I do not work with her and she only relieves me but today I was graced with working with her for two hours, just the two of us. Everything started fine (even though she walked in at 4:01) until I was correcting a warrant and she blew up at me. She STOOD UP and was shouting (in some times SCREAMING) at me about how dare I talk to the Lt about her coming late and how I set out to get everyone in trouble and that "he said you said" and "she said" and on and on!  Are we in high school?  Really, I thought I graduated 6 years ago and that you're over 50 years old... It was so bad that I couldn't even here the police radio going off and had to have the officers call again. Anyway, I am normally a very emotional person and my eyes start to well at any possible confrontation but all that happened was my heart sped up a bet. She continued to yell and shout and everything I said wasn't even being heard. She finally shut up after the radio kept going on and didn't say anything the rest of the shift. When I got off I called Sgt to tell her that I was really bothered at how inappropriately Cpl#2 handled things... I don't want to make it worse but really, yelling!? Like that will resolve anything! I know I look pretty conceited saying this but I feel like she is intimidated by me and that's why she lashed out. I just wish I would have been able to record it somehow, I should've told her to hold that thought while I pulled my phone out! Haha! Well, I already talked to my husband about it on and on for an hour but feel better typing it out. Thanks for listening ;)!

On the dieting front- so far so good! Did you know a large sonic cherry limeade is only worth 1.5 points! What a steal!!!  Is it soda?  I think it has sprite in it, if so it's my first soda since Monday! I am still refraining from weighing hoping that I will see a big loss come Monday, one week from starting. Glory or shame, I'll be sure to fill yall in.

My best friend is due on Monday and after dilating to a 1.5 at 35ish weeks her cervix has refused to dilate anymore. She went to the ER yesterday and again a little after midnight because she has a kidney stone AND her baby is laying on that kidney so she has been in excruciating pain. After the dr saw her this morning she was sent home and told to come in tomorrow at 4pm for cir.vidil and then the pit.ocin will start Monday morning so it looks like her little man is going to come on his actual due date. She still hasn't said if she has decided if she wants me in the room or not during delivery so we will see, I'll be fine either way.

And of course I have to throw some ttc info in here... Today is CD31 with no end in sight. It's ok, I was expecting this.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Today should be CD1

But instead it is CD29 which I was expecting all along.  I really do not want this new two week wait, ya know the one from the day I should have started to the day I can call Dr P to come in for the "next step" appointment.  I am really supposed to wait a month but again, why wait?!  I went to the dollar store yesterday and bought 10 tests and was looked at like a crazy lady but it doesn't phase me anymore! I took one this weekend and then again yesterday morning.  Now, I'll just take them once a week until I'm able to get in to the doctor.  I don't even wait for the results now though, I just leave it on the countertop, do whatever and then come back later.  I wonder if it will be different when I have some hope that it will be positive?!  I sure hope so although by not getting excited, I don't get let down. 

On the dieting front- so far so good!  Today is day 3 and I'm keeping from weighing myself until Monday that way I can see if anything happened over the course of a week.  This afternoon was the first time I really wanted to snack on bad food but I think that's just because I was watching W and his parents (both skinny minnies) had all kinds of yummy things in the house but I refrained!  I haven't felt cheated out of anything really and have stayed full throughout the day.  I just really hope this is going to be what I needed.  If I can lose 10 pounds in the next few weeks before seeing Dr P I will feel a whole lot better about it all.  Only time can tell!!!

Oh and on a side note that I even feel guilty about mentioning... E's brother (T) is newly out of a bad bad marriage.  He and K started dating before his divorce was final (although after he and his ex were seperated) and she was also just out of a relationship.  Anyway, last night we were out to eat with them and my in laws and the CUTEST little 3 or 4 year old girl came in and sat behind us.  She had a big bow on that matched her outfit and even had her nails painted!  Anyway, K said how adorable she is and how badly she has baby fever!  Ugh, I told E that if they get pregnant before us I don't know how I will deal with it.  They aren't married and still aren't even legally divorced to their ex's!  I REALLY like her, and his brother, but I just know that it's going to happen for them before us.  I'm so selfish!!!

Monday, February 15, 2010

Tomorrow I start eating better!

Tonight I joined we.ight wa.tchers! I was looking through my ip.hone yesterday and noticed that there is an app where you just put in what you eat, as you eat it, and it tracks your points for you telling you how many you have already used for the day and how many you have left. I tried ww before and didn't do too well because I never carried my log with me and would forget to put things on it at the end of the day.  I ALWAYS have my phone with me so hopefully I will stick with it.  Also, you can put in a restaurant and add the whole meal that way so I think it will be pretty dang convenient! I'm excited!  I set my first goal for 5% of my total body weight and they say if you follow the program WITHOUT exercise you can expect to lose 1-2 lbs a week so hopefully when I go in for my clo.mid appointment I will be down about 10 pounds!  I am supposed to start this Thursday and if not and if there's nothing for two more weeks I will call for my appointment and probably get in to see Dr P within a week or two so that's three to four weeks of dieting. If i can get back on the elliptical and ab lounger then I will be doing great!

Took another dollar store cheapy this morning and nothing.  It's sad that I don't even get nervous while I'm waiting for those three minutes to pass.  I really don't have much hope of this cycle working even though it would be the best thing ever if it did!  I figure I'll take another test in a few days and then once a week until the Dr appointment... that's the plan at least!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

I broke down

...and did a dollar store cheapy yesterday. Negative, of course, but I wasn't expecting anything else. According to my iphone app I shouldn't even get a positive blood hcg until the 15th, 50% positive urine on the 17th and 95+% positive on the 20th (but that's not early tests because I'm supposed to start the 18th).  Anyway, I feel better about it and I will take another test sometime next week.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Did I really just buy that?!

Yah, I did. I bought a 2 pack of cl.earblue easy DIGITAL!  It was less than $10 so it's not that bad and I am ONLY going to take one after the day I'm supposed to start or if I get a positive looking cheapy hpt. I just figure when it's time to get my positive test that a digital "Pregnant!!!" (yes, I know there aren't an exclimation points on the test) will make for an awesome picture!

That's about it. I really wanted to test this morning but I didn't and was proud of myself! I don't know if I can resist tomorow but we'll see... At least if I do I'll use a dollar cheapy!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

No, it is too early to POAS!!!

Why is there such an urge! I know that it'd be a wasted test but I REALLY want to poas in the morning! First of all, I highly doubt I even ovulated from pro.vera alone. Secondly, today is only cd22 so even if I were to have a normal, productive, 28 day cycle I probably wouldn't have enough hcg to get a positive yet. Saturday will be 5 days before my next expected period so I am going to test on Sunday... well, I'm going to try to wait until Sunday! I don't even know why I do this to myself, I KNOW it'll be negative! If I can reason on here why can't I do it when I have the test package in my hand? I guess because the test is just a  and it really is an addiction, but still!

One of my best friend's from high school found out what he and his fiancĂ© are having and sent a mass text out to everyone with foam stickers on her belly saying "it's a boy!!!" with his big smiling face next to her belly. It was too sweet and made me tear up. He was SO happy and proud. They weren't jealous tears, I am REALLY happy for them! It just makes me want our happy announcement so much more!!! I have always thought that I didn't want anyone to know until we go in for our 8 week ultrasound and then tell our family and a few close friends but now my close family, 3 best friends, and coworkers know that we're trying with medical help so I don't know if I could keep it a secret when they keep asking weekly if we're pregnant yet (if only they knew how much waiting is involved!) I do know that I'm not going to announce it on fa.cebook or anything or that sort or to the majority of the world-except of course, this blog!-until we are in the second trimester. OH! And speaking of fa.cebook- a girl I went to high school with announced two weeks ago that she was pregnant and then a few days ago updated that she had gone in for her first appointment and was 6 weeks along due in October. On her fa.cebook today there is a video where she runs full speed at a snowman, tackles it and falls on the ground (face/stomach first)... everyone keeps putting comments about how funny and everything it is but do they not realize there is a tiny baby growing in there?! Maybe when pregnancy comes so easy you don't worry about everything... who knows! It made me mad to see that though, like she didn't even think twice! Ugh! Ok, enough of that!
Today, DFW airport has already gotten a record breaking 8 inches of snow! I know a lot of my blogroll is on the east coast and snowed in but this is TEXAS!!! Here, we get a 1/4 inch of sleet and the whole town shuts down! It started snowing at my house this morning around 7am and hasn't stopped yet. It's nice fluffy snow too which also is very rare around here. While it is beautiful to look at I am absolutely terrified of my drive to work in the morning. Everything that has fallen is currently slush on the highway and is going to freeze overnight meaning I will be driving to work on a sheet of ice! Also, there is a slightly steep hill between my house and the highway that I'm not sure my small (non-4wd) suv will be able to tackle. The good news is that I'm a dispatcher so I can call an officer to come help me out... the bad news is that they will all probably be super busy! I'm giving myself twice as much time as it normally takes and hopefully I will make it ok...

Last week E asked me if I knew what his favorite season was, I shrugged and he said "whatever season is next! When I'm fishing I want to be hunting and when I'm hunting I want to be fishing!" Isn't that the truth!

Monday, February 8, 2010

I know I already posted once today but

My boobs are really sore. I'm sure it's just a fluke but it is so bizarre! Even if I would have ovulated it'd be way too early for any symptoms... Do you think our body manifest symptoms? I think so and it's pretty cruel!!! Instead of making me feel like I could be pregnant, just get a nice egg ready and release it on time, ok? Thanks!

I've also decided that I'm not going to wait 8 weeks to call in for my next appointment for the clo.mid. I figure if I don't start on my own after 6 weeks, will 2 more do anything? It's not worth the wait. So, if I haven't started then I will be calling the doctor the FIRST week in March! I also can't remember if he told me that I needed to come and see him to get the prescription or if he was just going to call it in... I guess we will find out soon enough!

Oh, and my best friend (38 weeks today) texted me earlier saying she was going into the ER for chest pains.  After me sending endless texts and supposedly her husband sending me one updating me-WHICH I NEVER GOT!- she texted me from home saying that it was reflux caused by gastritis and that she had low potassium so they're giving her supplements. I was a nervous wreck waiting to hear what happened though.  I told her that when "it's time" I don't want to know, I just want to know when he's here! I'm kidding but still, it kills me not knowing what is happening! When she was about 20 weeks she asked if I would be in the delivery room which was amazing and made me cry! She however changed her mind and isn't even letting her mom in there now because she youtubed vaginal delivery and was disgusted.  This is her 3rd baby! Oh well, I was extrememly let down but it's her body, her baby!  I can't be too upset because I wasn't going to have her in when we have a baby.  E and I have talked about it and we would like our mothers in there if the doctor allows. If not, it will just be us two!  Hopefully that day comes sooner rather than later!!!

2ww...maybe?!

Today I called in sick. This is the first time I have ever called in at this job and I have been there for over a year. Now, I have called in INJURED before. This past summer I fell in the shower and managed to cut myself badly enough to need 6 stitches in my pinky toe and 2 more in the bottom of my foot. The day (I'm not making this up) that I mailed off the remaining balance on the bill for that ER visit, I was unloading the dishwasher and our silverware is in a removable basket. I took the basket across the kitchen and placed it on the countertop above the silverware drawer and it fell and a steak knife fell and hit me right in the ankle joint. There was very little blood but I lifted my leg up to see how bad it was and my second and third toes just hung...Another visit to the ER (my husband asked if frequent flyer points were given, seriously! Oh, and he was afraid to go with me because he was worried it may look like spousal abuse) and a visit to the specialist and I found out the knife cleanly severed the tendons to my 2nd and 3rd toes. During surgery they saw that not only did I cut those 2 tendons, I cut the one to my fourth toe as well... Back to the initial point though, other than being on pain killers for those and unable to work, I've never called in. Yesterday about halfway through my shift I got a horrible headache and just dizzy. After work I took an hour nap and the dizzy turned to vertigo. I haven't had vertigo in over a year since I had my tonsils out so I thought that was the problem... So, I took a valium (what I was prescribed in the past) and hoped that I would sleep it off. That didn't happen and I was up every two hours so dizzy I felt sick... So about 3am I called in. I was able to sleep until 10 and am still dizzy!




Now, on the babymaking front- I have NO idea what is going on with my body. Temping was absolutely unsuccessful due to the fact I wake up so much through the night and I have done daily ovulation tests around 7pm and have yet to get a positive on any of those. I did read that the spike can come and be gone within 10 hours so you should really test twice a day so IF I did ovulate there is a good chance that I could have missed it with the tests but I am pretty sure that pro.vera alone didn't do the trick. IF I were to have a 28 day cycle then I could expect CD1 to come on the 18th which means I could take a first response test a week from today! I'm not expecting anything but would be elated if this was our month. If it isn't then I will go back to Dr P the 3rd week in March and will start on clo.mid. My sister goes to her new RE in march too, so we may give our mom her first grandbabies at almost the same time!!!!



It has been raining (or snowing but in north Texas when we say snow we normally mean sleet or ice) at least twice a week since Christmas I think. This morning it has been thundering since I was up at 3am and our neighbor’s backyard as well as the property behind our fence is completely flooded. I miss the sun!!!

Monday, February 1, 2010

Our computer has been broken...

so I haven't been able to update anything but there isn't much to say.  I had a very mild cycle that lasted for about 5 days and then started OPKs and I got a pretty dark line (though not as dark as the control, just darker than the others) around day 7 but nothing since.  Unfortunately I don't get off work until 6 so I haven't been  testing until 7pm which I read isn't too bad.  I have tried and tried to temp but I wake up a LOT during the night whether it's to get a drink, go to the bathroom or just to move around so needless to say it hasn't been worth anything.

Hubby and I have been trying our best to keep things every other day for over a week and plan on doing that until we get results one way or another! He loves it, I just pray it doesn't become a chore! So far though it has been really great for our relationship.

Other than that, I have been having HORRIBLE breakouts on my face, back, chest and arms. I feel like I'm in high school all over again! Also, I think I've lost enough hair to make a wig and amazed I still have some on my head. I know the acne has helped by being on birth control but can that also help with the hair loss caused by PCOS? I'm going to bring those questions up next time I go to see Dr P.

Oh, and the amazing hubby bought me an i.phone for my birthday! I got a really neat FREE fertility app and if I were to have a normal textbook cycle I would ovulate on the 4th meaning that the next two days are our peak fertility days.  Oh can I please just be textbook?!?! I know everything I've read says to go every other day in order for the spermies to build up strong and everything, is that really true?  Are we hurting our chances if we try once a day?!