Thursday, October 7, 2010

Shower ettiquette question...

I cannot believe that my shower is in just 6 weeks!  My bff of 18 years and two other friends are planning everything and I've been working on my guest list and here's my question...

Do you send invitations to people/family that you know will not come?  I have family that is out of state so I know they will not be attending and I feel like if I send them an invite I'm just asking for a gift but I feel like I should send them one... so what do you think?


  1. Yay for your shower!! This is a good question and one that I will be dealing with soon enough, so I'll be checking back to see what other people say.

    I would send the invitations. For me, inviting someone is letting them know that i would love for them to be celebrating with me (even if I know that they can't).

    My cousin's wife just had a baby shower this summer and I (along with the rest of the out of state cousins) weren't invited. Most of us sent gifts anyway, but most of us also thought it was strange to not get an invitation (or any acknowledgement that the reason we weren't invited was because of distance).

    Part of me thinks that if I decided not to invite the out of staters, I would still drop an email or call to check in and let them know whats going on. Give them the opportunity to say no and then send a gift or not.

    Sorry I'm a bit all over the place...hope this helps!

  2. I would send an invitation to the out of state people. People love being recognized as important enough to be invited to your big day. If you feel it's necessary, send a note along with the invitation telling them that the invitation is not a gift request; rather its an acknowledgment of their love and support for you, and that you want them to be with you that day in spirit, if not actually at the shower.

  3. I say send the invites...then they know you want them there...not sending one sends the message that you don't want them there! And if they send a gift...woo hoo! You'd probably do the exact same thing for them!
    Enjoy your only get one time to have your first baby shower!!!!

  4. I sent invitations to family/friends that were out of state. I wanted them to feel included, and also we revealed Bunny's name on the invitation.

    The shower countdown is on! So excited!!!

  5. I sent invites to out of state guest for my bridal shower and I'm sure they'll be sent for my baby shower. It's more of a "If you happen to be able to make it, we'd love to have you" notice.

  6. Shower planning time already? Time is really flying. I would send the invitations. People might wonder why they weren't invited.

  7. I agree... send the invites even if you know and they know they can't come. It is a courtesy thing to say they are important and you were thinking of them. :-)

  8. We sent out SEVERAL invites to people who we knew weren't coming... for a few reasons:
    1) To be polite
    2) So they felt included, even living so far away
    3) Because my invites were so darn CUTE that we wanted to show them off!
    4) Many of these people wanted/requested my registry info so that they could send gifts.

  9. I didn't get an invitation to my cousin's baby shower (I live several states away), and it kind of hurt my feelings. I would not have been able to go but it would have been nice to be invited. I think it's better than just letting them know where you are registered (that seems more like "give me presents, but ONLY the presents I want" to me, than sending an invitation).